I am so tired of setbacks.

On Friday at work I started having numbness and tingling in my right arm.  After sitting at my desk for about 10 minutes waiting to see if this would go away, I told my boss that I needed to go to the hospital.  My co-worker, Sherri, took me to the Emergency Room.  Things went quickly after arriving at the ER.  A chest x-ray, blood work, CT scan, MRI, and MRA.  I was admitted with a blood clot.  After an injection in my stomach to help dissolve the clot and an aspirin, the numbness and tingling started to go away.  I was released to go home.

I called my oncologist to let her know because the medication, Tamoxifen, that I take to help prevent my breast cancer from coming back, can have the side effect of blood clots.  Today Dr. Riley’s nurse, Sandy, called me and asked what happen and said that they had only received part of my medical records from the hospitalization.  Sandy said that Dr. Riley wanted to see me on her next office day which happens to be Tuesday.  She also said that she would be contacting my local hospital to find out why they had not received all of my reports.  Shortly afterwards Sandy called me again to say that Dr. Riley had looked at all of my reports and said that I had to stop taking the Tamoxifen immediately.  I told Sandy that the thought of not taking the Tamoxifen scares me badly.  But I was advised that I needed to not take any more and on Tuesday Dr. Riley will discuss other options with me and my husband (Nick).

I am so frustrated tonight.  It feels like for every step I take forward, I end up two steps back.  When I first started taking the Tamoxifen I was told that I needed to be diligent about taking the pill every day at the same time of day.  I have an alarm set on my cell phone to remind me each evening to take the medication.  It seriously freaks me out that I will not be taking the medicine for the next 5 days.  Seriously. Freaked. Out.

I have had so many of the side effects from treatment and complications from surgery and it upsets me that so many others who went through the same treatment have breezed through treatment with only a few side effects.  While I do not wish my side effects on anyone else, I guess I have the “Why me” thing going on right now.

Now I wait for Tuesday when I see my team of doctors in Louisville to see what my next step is.


3 thoughts on “I am so tired of setbacks.

  1. I remember reading your August post “Cancer has changed me. I don’t believe that a person can go through cancer and the resulting treatments and not be changed in the process. I now know just how strong I am. I am no longer afraid of so many things.” Your words were/are important to me. They came at a time I was needing to know whatever happened – I would be stronger for it. I think I know how worried you must be. I’ll be thinking good thoughts for you. You keep touching our lives. Hugs. Mary

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