September 14, 2012

SOME GOOD NEWS AND SOME NOT SO GOOD NEWS…AN EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER

What a day!  Started out this morning trying to get the kiddos out the door to school and get me showered and dressed (this is a huge production right now!) in order to get to Louisville for a doctors appointment with Dr. Little.  Right now getting me ready to leave the house is like trying to get to an appointment on time with a newborn baby.  It is hard to do.

 

Anyway….we finally made it to Dr. Little’s office.  I was seen by both him and his Physician’s Assistant.  They both agreed that my incision sites were healing very nicely and everything looked good.  I then got the good news that  2 of my 4 drains were going to be taken out today!  I was so excited.  These drains are a pain in the backside and they were beginning to really hurt where they entered my body.  The PA went to work removing the sutures holding in the first drain and that was a bit painful, but tolerable.  She then swiftly pulled out the drain and I will admit…I let out a squeal/howl/some weird  sound.  It hurt. She then moved to the other side.  This one was a bit more painful, but again, tolerable.  I squeezed Nick’s hand during this.  After bandaging me up with gauze andwhat seemed like half a roll of tape, she told me that the wounds will heal up on their own.  I did not need stitches.  Nick thought this is quite interesting to watch all of this and was excited to tell me about how cool it was to look through the holes in my side.  He helps to keep my spirits up!!  Never a dull moment around  here.  I was then told that I did so well during surgery that he was able to add 300 cc’s of saline solution in to the expanders during the surgery which is the equivalent of THREE office visits to get saline added.  He will see me again next Tuesday to add more and to possibly take out my last two drains.

On the way home we decided to stop and eat to celebrate .  While at Cheddars, Nick’s cell phone rang and it was Pam, Dr. McMaster’s medical assistant.  She told me that Dr. McMaster’s wanted to speak to me.  Right now. She transferred the phone to him and he told me that after sending my lymph nodes for further evaluation that there was some cancer cells in there.  Not a huge tumor or anything like that, but there were some cancer cells present after all.  I was totally not expecting this.  He told me that when I come in to see him on Tuesday that he will have Dr. Riley there for the appointment also to discuss our next steps.  Someof the options as of now are going back in and removing the rest of the lymph nodes from the right side and then doing the chemo or continuing with the chemotherapy only and hoping that it kills any other cancer cells that may have been left behind.  I eventually handed to phone to Nick for him to talk to Dr. McMasters because I was crying and shaking and his words were starting to not come through clearly to me.  It looks like Nick and I have some things to research and think about this weekend.

After having my pity party and crying I am again feeling better emotionally.  This caught me off guard and I was not prepared to hear it all.  I am trying so hard to stay positive and put all of this in God’s hands.  I know that He will take care of me and there is a reason for this happening.  I don’t have any idea what that may be yet, and I may never know, but this is the path that I have been given and I have faith that in the end everything will be OK.

 

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