September 11, 2012


In preparation of my surgery I read many books and articles on breast cancer and mastectomy.  I thought I was prepared.  Was I ever wrong! I don’t think that this is something that one can ever be fully prepared for.


My family has had a good time reminding me of the strange and funny things that I said while in recovery.  Things that I have no memory of at all.  Beckie said that in recovery I said multiple times that “cancer is mean” and “cancer sucks”.  She got a big laugh out that!!  Also someone asked me why my hospital gown had a pocket in the front and I vaguely recall answering that I thought it was for me to keep a snack handy.  I don’t remember who asked me the question, but I kind of remember the conversation.


After that I must have gone back to sleep because I don’t remember much else about the evening.  The next thing that comes to mind is waking up and being in the worse pain of my life.  I had a morphine pump and I was constantly pushing the button only to hear the dreaded beep that said “no more morphine for you!”  Oh, how I hated that sound.  Every time that I managed to fall asleep, someone would knock and come in to check on me.  Even though I am slightly complaining about this, I was happy at the same time because the doctors and nurses at James Graham Brown Cancer Center were wonderful.  They were very thoughtful and caring.  I was seeing between 5-8 different doctors every day.  They were quick to ask me about my pain level, and made sure that if I needed anything that I would get it.


Nick stayed over night with me the first night at the hospital and I don’t believe he managed to get much sleep at all.  It seemed like every time I would open my eyes he was sitting here watching me.  He said that he was afraid to go to sleep because I might need something.  He held my hand, wiped my tears, spoon fed me orange sherbert, and made sure that I was as comfortable as possible.

The second night my mom stayed with me because I wanted Nick to be able to get some rest.  Nick told me multiple times before he left that if I needed him at all, no matter the time of the night, that all I had to do was call and he would be right back at the hospital.  I have a feeling that he didn’t get much sleep even though he was at home.

Since coming home from the hospital on Saturday, I have been camping out in the recliner.  It is much more comfortable that trying to get in and out of the bed.  The pain is still pretty intense at times.  Mainly when I sleep through my next scheduled dose.  That is when I wake up in major pain and typically start throwing up also.  Like I said…this is no walk in the park.

Nick, mom, cousin Christine, and the kids have been taking very good care of me.  I feel like a spoiled princess.  I am not complaining!  It feels good to know that I am loved and that people are here to help me.

I have received some beautiful flower arrangements from the people that Nick works with and our neighbors, Dan and Dorothy, which Nick has taken pictures of.  I will post the pics soon.  I have also had two deliveries today.  The first one was an editable fruit arrangement from my Uncle Bobby and Aunt Rosemary.  I have already ate some of the cantaloupe and grapes.  They were yummy!  My second delivery of the day was from my brother-in-law Brian and his wife, Theresa.  It was an editable cookie arrangement.  I have never seen anything like it before.  The website for them is  The one that they picked out for me was the pink breast cancer awareness arrangement.  It had 3 huge sugar cookies in the shape of a ribbon and they had white and pink icing on them and the top cookie said “Survivor”   The remaining cookies each had one of the following words on them:  Faith, Courage, Love, Strength, and Laughter.  I managed to nibble on a small part of the survivor cookie and it was delicious!

I have also been receiving many beautiful cards from my friends and family.  It is so nice to know that you all are still thinking about me and my family.

The only other updates that I have right now is that I will be going to see Dr. Little this Friday for him to check on my drains and hopefully they can come out at that time!  And then on Tuesday I will be going to see the oncologist about starting chemo.  Nick (being Nick, of course) asked if he can paint my bald head to look like a pumpkin for Halloween.  I had to give him a “stern talking to” about that because he made me laugh and it hurt to laugh.  I told him I may let him paint my head for Halloween.  haha

I am going to go ahead and say goodnight.  It is time for my nap time.

Love to you all!


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