October 22, 2012

AN EMOTIONAL DAY!

Things have caught up to me a bit today.  My hair is falling out at a very quick rate.  What little I still had after getting it cut short in preparation of this…    It was still quite a shock to see how much has suddenly started falling out today.  It is everywhere.  Nick finally took Beckie’s lint roller to my head to help rid me of excess hair!  It was falling down on my forehead, cheeks, and all over my clothes.  I then started thinking about all of the scars that are on my body now and started to cry.  Two long scars over where each breast used to be, along with 3 puncture hole wounds/scars from drainage tubes on each side.  Then add in the scar from where I have the port-a-cath inserted, and the scar on my neck where all of the tubing meets up to deliver my chemo to my heart.  It just all seemed overwhelming today.

Nick, of course, was wonderful.  He tells me that my scars are my battle scars and he loves them because it means that I am battling this cancer and I am here with him and the kids.  He also tells me how beautiful I look even while losing my hair.  I am one lucky girl..I know that for sure.

I am still thankful that I have managed to avoid being as sick as I was last round.  The first round of chemo just about kicked my butt. I managed to make it through it…with Nick’s help, that is!  He has kept my medication schedule up to date at all times with his alarm going off around the clock to make sure I wake up to take my anti-nausea meds.  He has taken such good care of me!

I am officially half way through the “bad” chemo regime.  The first part, the “AC” is supposed to be the toughest according to both my medical oncologist and the oncology nurses.  So to be able to say that I am half way through it feels likes a huge accomplishment for me.  The second course, which I can’t think of the name right now, is supposed to be four rounds also, but no where near as hard on me.  I cannot wait to celebrate the end of chemo!!!!  Nick says that we are going to light fireworks and have a party!

I am supposed to meet with a radiation oncologist sometime in January to see if I will need radiation therapy on top of the mastectomy and chemo.  I am praying that I can avoid that part.  If I have to do it, I will do it because it means that it will increase my chances of beating this horrible monster, but at the same time I could sure stand to hear some good news…like “No radiation therapy needed!”

I managed to get out of the house today and along with my mom as my driver, and took Beckie to the oral surgeon for an appointment.  She has to get all four wisdom teeth removed over Christmas break.  All four are impacted and after she has already gone through braces to get her beautiful smile, the wisdom teeth are trying to come in sideways and ruin the beautiful smile that she has.  So, December 2oth is wisdom teeth day.  Beckie hates to miss school so has decided to wait until Christmas break to have the surgery rather than miss school.  I was happy to be able to get out of the house and go with her, but it sure wore me out!  I was happy to get back home to my recliner.

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