I have been feeling a bit down today because Christmas Eve is when we have our big family dinner. I have not felt well today and I wanted so badly to help my mom prepare our dinner today as I normally do. Instead, I spent most of the day resting because I was weak from chemotherapy and just did not have the energy to do much at all. Nick took me to moms house around two so I could help her, but I ended up napping again instead.
Once everyone got to moms house for dinner and I was surrounded by my family I realized that family is what it is all about. I was blessed to have been able to be with them tonight. I am here. I am alive. I am thankful. It made me realize that everything that is going on right now (cancer, chemotherapy, soon to have radiation, feeling sick all the time) is not forever…. it is just for right now. This time next year I am hopeful that our lives are back to normal…or as close to normal as possible. I don’t know if things will ever feel “normal” again. I have a feeling that we will be making a new normal.